We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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