Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize