At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
