His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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