guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
