recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
