I heard we made out
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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