I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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