Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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