I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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