im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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