I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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