do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
