I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
