I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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