I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize