the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
