That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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