Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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