you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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