Im at strip club and am horny
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
