i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
