sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
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I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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