If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
