he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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