they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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