I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
