Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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