this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
