Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
