I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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