we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize