when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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