can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this boner is exhausting
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
