dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
