i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
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Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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