My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He passed out mid-signature
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.