How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
