operation have a gay friend backfired
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.