My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.