I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.