Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
