Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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