Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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