I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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