the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
