Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
