Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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