Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
