escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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