great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
