I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
