i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
