just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
