Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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