I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize