Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
