I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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