The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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